Welcome back to another episode of Spicy Spectrum. I'm your Dream Girl Pepper Cat, and today I want to talk about something I've been noticing more and more over the last few years. I spend a lot of time talking to men, as you already know. That's my job. And I also spend a lot of time reading comments online and seeing screenshots that women post and listening to stories from both sides. One thing I noticed is that it feels like the lines between dating apps and adult sites are starting to blur. And before anyone gets defensive, let me just say this. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting casual sex. There's nothing wrong with having a king or a fetish. And there's nothing wrong with wanting to find someone who's into BDSM or roleplay or feet or whatever you're into. It's an innocent, it's nothing wrong with trying to find someone else who may be sexually aligned and sexually compatible here. I'm probably the last person who's going to shame anyone for having a fantasy. What I am going to talk about is timing and honesty and most importantly, consent. One of the biggest mistakes I see is people assuming that because someone matched with them on Tinder or Hinge or any other dating app, they're automatically interested in whatever fantasy they have in mind. That's a pretty big leap. And even me, I've I've seen it. I'm not on there anymore. But when I was, I experienced the same thing. I've seen stories where someone barely says, hello. How are you? My name is. Or send some voice notes about all the nasty things they want to do to you. Before they make a comment on a picture on Hinge and they comment on the picture, I've seen people immediately start sexing someone who hasn't even decided whether they're interested or not. Specifically, men, I I'm I'm just gonna be honest about the screenshots that I see online within the conversations that happen. I've seen people bring up their favorite key or say they're into, for example, this is what I saw recently. This guy messages Asian women and said he loves Asian women, you know. Basically, basically that that's his fetish. Um, and that, you know, I've seen specifically men bring up their favorite kink before they even ask the other person what they're looking for, and if that person is into what they're into as well. And this isn't an attack, I'm just being honest. You know, Pepper, Pepper loves being honest on here, and so I really want to have an honest conversation, and so that's where I think people get it wrong, right? And one thing working in the adult industry has taught me is that fantasy works best when everybody already knows they're participating in it. If somebody comes to one of my platforms, whether it's only fans or whatever site I'm on, they know exactly what kind of space they're entering because I put it in my summary. I put it in my, you know, that there's there's there's there's context, there's an understanding, there's a mutual understanding, and most importantly, there's consent that I'm okay with what you're looking for. Dating apps are a little different, right? You you you have no idea why that person downloaded the app. Maybe, maybe they're looking for marriage, maybe they're looking for long-term relationships, maybe they are looking for something more casual, maybe they're seeing what's out there. You don't know until you ask. And I'm just gonna be the one to say it. Honesty is very attractive. If your goal is casual dating, just say that. Just be up front. Hey, I'm into casual dating. Don't put in in your profile that you're looking for long term, and then you go on someone's DM talking about eating their booty hole. I'm just being honest. If you're looking for someone who's sexually adventurous, just say that. If you're if you're hoping to meet someone who's into BDSM, own it and be a friend. Don't don't try to sneak someone into your fantasy. There's nothing wrong with looking for compatibility. The problem starts when you pretend you're looking for one thing while secretly hoping for something else. And part of the reason why I think some men do this, a lot of men, that I've seen in terms of the screenshots and even me interacting is because you want it's just a game. You want to convince someone into doing what you want to do. Instead of just finding someone who wants to do what you want to do. I always believe that honesty filters people out faster than pretending that you're someone who you are not. Some people will say no, that's a part of life. It's a part of life being rejected, and that's good, right? They learn your person. Some people will say yes, that's great. Now both of you know exactly what you're walking into. And I think we spend so much time worrying about rejection that we forget how much time dishonesty waste. It's a lot of wasted time. Another thing I wanted to mention is explicit photos. I am no stranger to explicit photos. Even I get tired of unsolicited sausage penis pics. Even for me, I don't allow any of my customers to just send me penis pictures without my permission. I don't care if we're on an adult site. You have to ask before you send pictures. So even even that's a rule for me and and and other creators like myself. We cannot just send pictures of your sausage. That's a violation. And don't get me wrong, I don't mind you sending it. What I do mind is consent and permission on my end. So please don't assume someone wants to receive a picture of your sausage. If they ask for it, great. They want to see it. They get turned on, they like it. If the conversation naturally gets there, that's great. It's nothing wrong with wanting to sex. I have nothing against sexing. I I I love sexing. You know? But if it it if if the conversation doesn't get there, slow down. Have some self-control. And that's same, that's the the same goes for explicit messages, voice notes, and turning every conversation sexual five minutes after matching with someone. Consent isn't just about what happens physically, it's about respecting where someone is emotionally in the conversation. And it's also about it's about reading the room. And I've noticed that the healthiest relationships, and I've seen this in my personal life too, whether they're casual or they're serious, it usually starts with two people being honest about what they actually want. That's the part I think we skip. And I look, I I'm gonna be honest about this too. On the other side of the coin, I've seen this. I've seen, you know, I've seen some clients misuse adult sites, right? So on dating sites, you often see some people use it for, you know, to live out their fantasy, their kink, their fetish, because they don't want to pay for only bands. They don't want to, they don't want to whip out the dollar. So then they use these dating sites for free interaction with women. There's a running joke for me that I have, and and another woman like me that if you're on our site trying to look for love, you need to go on Tinder. It's so weird. I'm I'm I'm just gonna be honest. There are some men who use dating apps as if you're on OnlyFans, and there are some men who use OnlyFans as if you're on a dating app. Yes, that I'm just being honest. You know, I think we should use apps the way they're intended to be used, right? Me personally, you know, I'll have guys express their love, express that they want to take me out, they want to meet in person, they they want to take me out to dinner. No, no This is this is OnlyFans, B I'm here to provide a service, not be taken out on dates. Same with dating apps. Some people are, yes, casual sex, fine. Some some people don't want to send their pictures of feet to you. Go on OnlyFans for that. There are sites for different places. What's going on here? What's going on? And you know, for me, I still I I personally still get those messages where men misuse adult sites for dating, and I get it. People form parasocial relationships, they may not be dating, they get close to a stripper, they get close to the cam model, to the escort, and they want to they want it to go even farther. And look, I I've known people who have married or dated clients. Okay. I I think there's a small percentage. I don't I don't I don't know the full numbers, but it's not common. So what I say is if you're on an adult site, use it for adult activities that are are restricted for whatever you're into, your dirty, naughty fantasy. Keep it there. Do not pressure a performer to date you. No means no, and that is a complete sentence. The same for dating ass. If somebody's on there for a long-term relationship and you're over there trying to beat your meat. No means no. She said no. Find someone else who wants to have casual sets. I'm sure there's something on the ass. Or if you want to get your freak on, satisfy a kinker fetish, just pay me the five dollars per month. It's a cup of coffee. Like I said earlier, I think and and and and this is just me. Not only do I think just people just can't really control they don't have impulse control on both places. I also think, again, there is a form of convincing the other person to do what you want to do, whether it's on leak bands, whether it's Tinder. And I I've seen it myself where I will say I will tell a client, hey, I'm not really into that. You may want to try another career, but please, it gives it it's like you can't take no for an answer. No is a complete sentence, and then then I have to blog down. So intentions should be clear in the beginning, boundaries should be clear, and I'm gonna say this too because I just saw this TikTok. I saw a TikTok of a Lennon who shared an audio message on Tinder where this guy basically told her up front, hey, I'm into casual, you know, I'm just looking for casual sex. This is why I'm using the app. And I saw nothing raw with that. He didn't trick her, he didn't wait three weeks to tell her that that's all he was looking for. He was upfront with his intentions and he was truthful. I look in the comments and I see a bunch of women commenting saying, see, this is why I don't date, you know, this is why, you know, this is why men are single. This is why, this is why, this is why. The dude was honest. He was honest. I I am I have it's nothing against that to to to to state your intentions. And I think he waited like the second date to tell her. I don't know. It was something where he like he told he sent her an auto message or and said, Hey, like the next time we meet, I would like to be intimate. I'm just letting you know that's my intentions. I thought that was very mature of him to let her know and be upfront. And the reactions from women, and for her to even post that on TikTok, I think was very immature. I think, and I'm just being honest when it comes to if men are honest, based on my personal observations, when it comes to them just being honest, because uh a lot of them actually are. A lot of women just don't like the answer, and then you demonize people who just want to have sex. I'm just I'm just being honest, and it's vice versa. Men call women sluts and whores if they say, Hey, I just want to have sex. And it's like, just just date people who want what you want, right? So, you know, I saw that and I was like, wait, that is exactly what you should do when you're using these dating apps. In my opinion, it's just to be upfront and not waste anyone's time. Right. If you are on an adult site and you're looking for that experience, there are girlfriend experiences. I'm not saying they don't exist, but be upfront with that. Instead of saying, I want to meet you and I want, you know, to date you, and I don't want to use this app and feel like you're using me for money, even though this is a paid website. I've seen that so many times where clients are like, I don't, I don't want to be feel, you know, felt like I'm just being used for money, and then like this is a this is a site, and it and it's taking your banking information. What do you think this is? And if it if if that is a fantasy you like, you can have the girlfriend experience, but know the difference. Know the difference. So let me know what you think. If you I I I would like to know in the comments. Have you experienced this? Have you done this before? Have you whipped out your penis and sent it sent it to somebody on an OnlyFans site without their consent or a dating site without their consent? Or have you received a sausage picture as well? What has been your experience with dating on these on the on these on these dating sites? Do you do you resonate with what Pepper's talking about? Because I received how many penis pictures I have on Instagram? And yes, I do report your profile. I will, and on Twitter. If you send me a penis pick without my permission, I don't report you for sexual harassment. And just because I do OnlyFans doesn't mean you can just send me and just pictures whipping it out and thinking that's okay with me. It's not. But anyway, I want to know your thoughts. We did have a discussion this past Monday on our Spicy Spectrum Live. I did drop a subset about this as well. You should check it out. If you missed the replay of this Monday's spicy conversation, the spicy live that we had, it is on Patreon. It is here, or it will be here, it will be on Patreon, and it will be dropped on Subsect this upcoming Friday. So don't forget that. Um, in the article, I do translate what I've observed from years of conversations with men in the adult industry, and I do break it down over there in a way that I didn't break it down here. If you like to support the show, my Cash App is in the show notes, Ever Projections, and there's a direct link. If you've been enjoying these podcast episodes and you like to support us, the invitation is always open. You can also join our Patreon for bonus content, especially if you like a video. Can you want to see what's happening and as opposed to hearing my voice? You can also visit my throne in the show notes as well. Patreon is in the show notes as well. My throne, if you'd like to support future episodes, help with the equipment, drink peppers, Wednesdays are my day off. I love having lunch and getting my toes and nails done. My toes and nails done. And you've had that urge to go on a dating app and misuse or you may misunderstand, but you but but what you're really looking for is a personalized fantasy experience. Consensually, I do have a space for you. So if you've been on those dating apps and misusing it, I have a space for you. You can visit me in Dream Girl Land. Alright? And we can discuss your naughty little fantasy. Your dirty little secret. You can visit me in Dream Girl Land. You can learn more about Design Your Dream Girl on my website designerdreamgirl.com. We can design your dirty, naughty fantasy consensually. Okay Delete that app and come over and meet Pepper, alright? And we can and we can talk about that. That's what you're looking for. Alright? I have a I have a I have a space for you. Alright. And as always, thank you for listening. Give us five stars, leave a review, give you a send and fan mail, share this podcast, turn on your notification. And stay tuned for more spicy conversations. This month, we're turning up the heat. We're getting more controversial. Pepper. We'll be bringing more spicy conversations on spicy's recum live, subsec, patriot, spicy's fashion. We're gonna get down and dirty. And as always. Join me next time. Same spicy channel, same spicy tide.