Okay, so I wasn't planning on recording an episode about Cardi B and Dolly Parton. And I actually wrote an article about this first, but I kept seeing people online comparing Cardi B and Dolly Parton. And every time I saw it, I thought, well, I actually see the similarities. And I see what they mean. And I couldn't explain why. And obviously they're two different women from completely different backgrounds and different genres and different generations. And they both have different audiences. But there's something there in regards to how they show up and how they perform, even off the camera. It's an energy. And I would say it's an aura that they both possess. And I was inspired to also do this when I saw a threads post. Her name is he or she. I'm not sure. Their name is Lady. Oh, it is Lee. Lovely Lady Yay. I believe I pronounced it correctly. And she basically said Cardi B has Dolly energy. I won't be explaining further. And I immediately thought they do. They have a certain energy. And I know that sounds very abstract, but stay with me. Because I I started thinking about why I could see the connection between both of these women. And I realized that part of what I was recognizing comes from working in the adult industry. And there is a certain energy that some women have when they completely are comfortable with their femininity, their sexual or their sexuality, and being looked at and being perceived and taking up space and also being a little extra, right? And and actually sometimes there's a lot extra, right? So there's the hair, the nails, the boobs, the cleavage, the clothes, the wa the voice, the humor, and uh confidence. And the fact that you can look at them and immediately know that this woman knows people are looking at her, and she knows that she's being watched, and she doesn't care. And she's not shrinking because of it, and she might actually enjoy it. And so when I looked at Cardi V and D Dolly Barton, I see two very different versions of that same kind of competence. I want to start with Dolly, because Dolly Dolly's look didn't happen by accident. She grew up in Tennessee and she grew up in a very small town, and everyone apparently called the town the town tramp. And the adults around Dolly didn't think that this woman, or this woman was someone that a girl shouldn't look up to, right? This was the sex worker. This was the woman, you know, this was the lady of a night. And Dolly thought that she was beautiful. You know, if you look at interviews in the past, you see that she admired um the escort blonde hair and the red lipstick and the long fingernails and the and the heels and the tight skirts and the wheel tops. And everything everybody else was saying was that these women were trash. And Dolly didn't think that. She thought, well, okay, if you see them as trash, well, you know, this is who I want to be like. You know, I don't, I don't care if, you know, that's who you see them as. And I love that because if you think about what that actually means, it means that before Dolly Barton became Dolly Barton, she saw a woman society had already decided was too sexual and too flashy and too cheap and too much. And Dolly saw beauty, and then she took pieces of that aesthetic and eventually turned them into one of the most recognizable images in entertainment history. You remember her with the giant blonde hair and the long nails and her cleavage and the hills that she wore and the rhinestones and the tiny waists and everything exaggerated, but nothing was quiet, and she never really apologized for who she was. And in fact, I saw a recent interview where she said that she did it on purpose, and so she knew exactly what people thought she lived like, and she made jokes about it herself, but she wasn't willing to change just so that people would take her more seriously, and that's the part that really interests me, because Dolly has actually said that her appearance probably made it take longer for people to take her seriously, but her attitude was basically eventually the talent will speak for itself, and that's what actually happened. Because underneath it all, that hair, that big hair that she wore and uh rhinestones. Um, she was uh a song writer and she was a musician and an actress, and she was an extremely smart businesswoman. And one of my favorite details that I like about her are those long acrylic nails everybody um didn't really like. And you know, it kind of reminds me of my grandmother. Like my grandmother wore heels and acrylic nails until the day she died. And she would always like, even into her 70s, she always wore heels and she always wore, you know, fake nails and makeup, and she did her hair all the time. And she was into fashion, and so that's why I really think too I have a connection to this comparison. Um and so yeah, and so I think that it was really cool that she Dolly used her nails, you know, to make music. That was literally what she did to make the sound of her nails as music. Um, and you know, she exaggerated her femininity, and that became a part of her music, and so that's Dolly. And so then you have Cardi B. Cardi B is from a different generation, and she has a different genre, and she's a different woman, but I see something very similar and very familiar. Cardi has never pretended that she didn't come from stripping, and she started dancing when she was super young, and she's talked about stripping in her interviews. Like if you search her up, and even in her songs, she mentions stripping, and she has themes of the adult entertainment industry and her art, and in her music, and in her music videos, and so you know, she's talked about stripping and how it changed her life because it made her focus on making more money, and she also became popular online because she has a big personality. And, you know, she was on reality television, and obviously she does music, and eventually she became one of the biggest female rappers in the world. And but one thing that I find really interesting is that her success didn't require her to erase the woman she became before the success. You know, and a lot of people say this about sex workers, right? That you can't do certain things because of your past. And that's simply not true. She kept her nails, she kept her cleavage and her wigs and her sexuality and her and her accent and her loud personality. And um, even if you look at what she wears, lingerie, um, things that, you know, show off her sexuality. And she kept her human or her humor as well. And, you know, Cardi didn't become successful and subtly decide that she needed to become quiet or a quote unquote respectable woman that everybody would feel comfortable with her. And if if anything, I believe her past and her owning who she is and hence how people perceived her and her career. And if anything, everything became bigger. And you know, this is where I started seeing Dolly again, because not because Dolly Parton was a sex worker, she wasn't, and not because they're the same woman, because obviously they're not, but it's the relationship they have with being too much physically in terms of their personalities, because women receive so many uh messages that are a contradiction, you know, about how they should be. They should be attractive, but don't be too attractive and don't put too much make a bond. But you should be sexy and appealing, but don't show too much skin. But I don't look. But also too, they say that oh, like you should have confidence, but don't you know have too much of a big ego, don't think too highly of yourself. So I think somehow, you know, it's just somehow, you know, we are expected to pretend like something that we're not, even though that's something that we really desire because we all have it. And these two women don't care. And and that's the energy I'm talking about. That's the energy that, you know, if you've been to a strip club or, you know, you've been somewhere where there's a lot of sexual energy, you'll feel it in the air. A lot of people, I've seen people describe going to strip clubs, specifically women who are not um strippers, say that when they go to strip clubs, I've seen the reaction and how they say that they can feel the confidence that the woman has. Um, this the power. I've I've heard that word describe women in strip clubs as powerful on them walking around like they own the room and them not caring what other people think. And that's the energy that I'm talking about. And here's why my research surprised me is because after I had already started thinking about this connection, I discovered something that Dolly saw it too. You know, years ago, Dolly was asked about, she was asked about um artists like Cardi B. And when she talked about Cardi, she said she could see pieces of herself in women like her. And specifically, she talked about the boldness that Cardi has. And I thought, there it is. There is the connection that they both have. That's the word. It's it's boldness because sometimes we're so focused on whether a woman is quote unquote too classy or quote unquote too trashy or too sexual versus being wholes wholesome or respectable or inappropriate, that we completely miss the personality underneath woman. And what if the common denominator isn't the clothes? And what if it's the willingness to wear them? And what if it's not just about the cleavage? What if it's you being comfortable with your curves and you wearing what makes you feel good? And what if it's not about the the big hair and the long nails and the heels and the makeup? But maybe those things are just external expressions of something happening internally that someone's trying to express to themselves and also express to the world. And saying that, hey, I know who I am, I know what I like, this makes me feel good, this is the mood I'm in, and I'm doing it on purpose. And it's aura, it's a powerful energy. And because sexuality is a really big part of this conversation because Cardi has obviously received enormous criticism for being sexually exquisite. So, for example, you all remember the song that came out, WAP, and the music bit the music video itself, the lyrics plus people doing social media challenges with the song, and people lost their minds. And I'm not saying everybody has to like sexually explicit music, you don't, but the reaction becomes interesting when you compare what audiences tolerate from male male performers versus female performers, and men have been describing what they want to do sexually and use it forever, and also they do it in regular lay. Like, like, I mean, come on, like, let's be honest. If you're a woman, you've overheard your male coworkers talking, right? A lot of times you see the real versions of men in strip clubs, in cam rooms, escortsia. And if you work with male co-workers who are away from their wives and family, you also hear it. If you are in if you listen to Ben behind closed doors in some capacity, you hear how they speak, right? And so if a woman would do that, you know, everyone would, you know, faint. You know what I mean? They they would clutch their pearls, and the reaction becomes interesting when you compare both audiences, and you know, when women describe what they want sexually and you hear that, suddenly we're having a national emergency, and women performers run into this constantly and across all genres, and you know their sexuality is criticized, you know, what they wear is criticized. There's always something in the news happening, you know, with what people think and how they think they got to where they are, and even if it's true for some people, um, it's still blown up more than men's. Let's be honest. And what's fascinating is that mainstream entertainment constantly borrows from women who have historically lived on the other side of the line of the ones who live um in the underground world, you know, the the shadow world, you know, sex workers, troopers, escorts, all kinds of women, um burlesque performers, showgirls, cam models, phone sex operators, porn stars, um, all kinds of women who are viewed from society as quote unquote trashy. The long nails, the heels, the lingerie-inspired fashion that they wear, um, how they move, how they dance, and how they perform, and that exaggerated femininity that they have. And I often find that culture will reject certain women and then borrow their aesthetic. And that happens a lot too. Uh, you can see it online too, where you see people talking about golf girls or whatever, and then you'll see a woman who describes herself as golf and then she's wearing lingerie, and then she's post that she doesn't like OnlyFans Women. And it's like, it just I don't know. I just think it's an oxymoron, right? And I think, you know, even with polled pole pole dancers, like there are some pole dancers who don't agree with shipping. And I'm not saying that you automatically have to agree with people, but don't forget where certain things came from. If you're embodying that, but then you're also criticizing an industry and not and also not giving credit, that is a problem. And so culture, you know, culture will reject that part of women who are looked down in society, and that is a part of Dolly's story about the the town tramp. Or yeah, yeah, the um town tramp. Um and that fascinates me so much, and because also too, that woman that she um, you know, lived up to, that woman herself never became famous, right? She was nameless, and I'm not saying that that's Dolly's fault. That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying, you know, back then, you know, those women were seen as invisible. And the pieces of the way she presented herself um traveled through Dolly and parts, and and that is a part of pop culture. That is a part of American pop culture. And our industry is a part of culture as well, whether people want to admit it or not. And there's something really um cool about that. I think I think we should ad acknowledge that. But I know that it makes some people uncomfortable. And this is where my adult industry perspective comes in. I have spent enough time around women who are professionally comfortable with being looked at that I recognize a certain energy. And I also have it. I have colleagues who have it and know you don't have to work in the adult industry to have it. But I do think spending enough time being visible and tapping into your sexual energy changes how you view visibility. And it changes your relationship with your body and yourself. And eventually you learn something. Being looked at doesn't automatically mean somebody owns you. And being desired automatically doesn't mean that everyone has access to you. And you know, it's okay to enjoy attention that, and that doesn't necessarily mean that you're desperate for validation. So, you know, sometimes you feel good, sometimes you know that you look good, and sometimes you put on your outfit and you do your hair and you do your nails and you turn the music on and you walk out thinking that everybody knows I look good today. And I'm okay with that. And and so I actually tell myself that all the all of the time. And I have a walk, I have a sensual walk, and obviously I have a sensual voice too. I mean that that I don't really happy, but you know, people um I think can feel that energy and that aura. And that's why, you know, when I saw people comparing Cardi B and Dolly Parton, I didn't think that it was crazy at all because I I I understood exactly what they were picking up on. And those are two different women, and they come from two different generations, but I both of them are uncomfortable being more in a world that constantly tells women to be less. And um, and it's not you know just how they look, it's how comfortable that they've seen being looked at. And that's the aura. You know, people I see online, people, some people have a problem with how women like us are looked at, and I understand that, but also, you know, some people in um that aura is something that you know is something that you can tap into, and it's not really about other people, it's about you and how you feel about yourself while also understanding that people are watching you, and that's okay. So as long as you're comfortable with it. And so I wrote a much deeper version of this conversation in my latest What He's Thinking article on SubSec. It's called There's an Aura. My I see the the connection between Party B and Dolly Bart A. And the first read is free. Um, the the first part of it is available for everyone. And then for those who are the spicy, my spicy supporters, you can go deeper into what I think about this aura um and what it actually means from my perspective working in the adult industry. And so after um that, along um along with some of the ways that I personally tap into that energy as well, like little, little tricks that I do before um I do my adult work and things that you could take. I mean, you don't have to be in the industry, you know, this energy and this um these tips that I provide can also be used before doing a big speech or um going to work, or if you don't feel confident. And I use certain tactics for myself that work and that helped me tap into my own sexual energy. Um, somebody described it and I forget her name on thread. She called it Hora Um W-H O R A-U-R-A. And I thought that was such a cool way to describe this aura that both Dolly Carton and Cardi B have. So anyway, um, you can read that. The link is in the notes section in the show notes. And um yeah. And so I'm curious to know when you look at Cardi B, Dolly Martin, do you see the similarities? Let me know in the chat. Let me know what you think. And I look forward to you uh listening to more spicy episodes.